What is self care and why do we need reminders?

Self care seems to be becoming a bit of a trend at the moment & this is one trend i am 100% on board with. One thing i have noticed though is that i see a lot of self care hashtags and promotion, but not a lot of information or detail explaining why self care is so important, or why some people struggle with self care.

Self care is something that has to be learned and is not an ‘automatic instinct’ like one might think. Your self care habits are often learned from adults in your family growing up and this can cause quite a lot of issues. If you are coming from an abusive household, self care will be so far down on your list of priorities that it could even be completely non existent. By abusive i don’t just mean physical abuse, i also refer to neglect, mental abuse, emotional abuse, manipulation, narcissistic abuse and all other types. Some people might not even be aware that they have suffered abuse, it can be so subtle and sneaky that many adult children of abusive families will suffer without ever realising why or without ever realising that what happened to them was wrong. This can also happen as an adult in abusive / codependent relationships. When in an abusive relationship often the abused will be trying so hard to keep the other person happy or to meet their partners needs that they will completely forget about their own self care and eventually end up a broken shell of the person they once where.

But lack of self care doesn’t always come from this. There are many people who come from happy households, have loving families & have never been in an abusive relationship, but they also struggle with self care. Maybe their loving parents were working long hours throughout their childhood to support them, but this left little room for support growing up and little time to observe and learn about SC. Maybe they are motivated and want to do well in work and progress their career, so they think that by focusing all of their time and energy on education and work they will improve their lives and get that job position they have always wanted. Maybe they have low self esteem and so SC is not something they actually care about.

To some people this might come so naturally that when they see ‘self care’ posts, or ‘tips on self care’ articles they might wonder, why would anyone need tips on that? But the truth is that it does not come naturally to us all & there are many different reasons why one might struggle with SC.

I myself struggled a lot with SC up until the age of 22/23 when i ended up in counselling and psychotherapy for other reasons. I genuinely didn’t know that SC was an issue for me until i’m sat in the chair face to face with my therapist and she asks me ‘what have you done for yourself this week?’. Well i didn’t know what to say or how to answer her. I didn’t even really know what she was asking me. We talked and talked and she was asking me a lot of questions like ‘when was the last time you pampered yourself, when was the last time you had a massage, when was the last time you had a hot bath and read a book, when was the last time you had your hair done, when was the last time you had a girls night or a movie night, when was the last time you cooked yourself a really nice meal, what’s your daily routine like?’ Most importantly.. and this is the one that changed my life in a massive way was she asked me ‘when was the last time you said no?’

Try this little exercise –

Step 1 – Fold an A4 piece of paper in half length ways. On the left side, make a list of all of the things you have done for others this week. Such as, giving somebody a lift, helping a colleague with a difficult task, collecting something for your partner on your way home, helping get your younger siblings ready and off to school, a few hours overtime to help out at work. Anything at all that you have done for others, add it to your list.

Step 2 – Now on the right side of the paper, i want you to make a list of all of the things you have done for yourself this week. Such as, a hot bubble bath with candles, saying no to working late because you were tired, asking for help with something if you need it, cooking your favourite meal instead of everyone else’s favourite meals, trying out a face mask and soaking your feet, reading a novel.

Step 3 – Now compare both sides of the paper. Are they even? Remember that although it is important to help others when you can & it feels nice to give and to do things for your loved ones. It is is even more important to help yourself & to ask for help if you need it. Let others do things for you sometimes, but most of all do nice things for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so ensure that your own cup is full before doing things for others so that your not left running on empty. Find a good balance between giving to others & also letting them return the favour and give/help you.

Self care doesn’t have to be fancy, it doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be expensive. Sometimes self care can be ‘treating yourself’ but sometimes self care can be the simple daily things that we sometimes forget to do when we are feeling down, such as washing our hair or drinking water.

See below my go to list of self care options/reminders, let me know if you have any other ideas that i can add to the list –

  • Hot bubble bath with salts & essential oils.
  • Epsom salt foot soak.
  • Clay face mask & skin care routine.
  • Say NO to things you do not want.
  • Switch your phone off and stay off social media.
  • Read a good book (not a self help book – get lost in a novel).
  • Buying fresh socks & pyjamas.
  • Have a hot chocolate with cream.
  • Cook your favourite meal.
  • Meal prep.
  • Ask for help !
  • Put some music on, sing, dance & be playful.
  • A walk in nature.
  • Go to bed early. SLEEP is the best medicine.
  • Meditate.
  • Yoga.
  • Talk to someone. A friend, a colleague, a pet, a therapist.
  • Write / journal. There’s nothing better than getting it all off your chest.
  • Floatation therapy. This one is my absolute favourite.
  • A cup of herbal tea. Drink it mindfully.
  • Watch your favourite childhood movie.
  • Pamper yourself at home.
  • Get a massage.
  • Wash your hair, cut your nails, moisturise your body.
  • Put some music on and do your chores / clean. This sounds like a weird one, but for me personally i always feel great when everything is clean and tidy and the chores are finished. However if you are already worn out and drained, the chores can wait.
  • Reassess your priorities.
  • Throw out that ‘to do list’.
  • Go to the gym or exercise at home.
  • Drink water.
  • Breathe. Take a few mindful deep breathes, practice some pranayama.
  • Get a reiki treatment, or even try taking the reiki level one course so you can give yourself reiki.
  • Watch or listen to something funny (The Ricky Gervais Podcast is my go-to).
  • Take yourself for a nice day out / meal / or weekend trip.

There are so many ways to practice self care and a lot of people won’t need a list or reminders. I need them. I often get caught up in work / my career & doing things for others and forget to take time out for me. So this post is for you, whoever needs it, but also a little reminder for me so i can check back regularly and make sure i am ticking a few things off this list. Now take some time out and celebrate you, you deserve it.

 

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Second time lucky.

***08/02/19***

I’m writing this laid up in bed recovering after having my second surgery on my knee last week.

Let’s rewind..

Last year I had a surgery on my right knee to remove a melanoma. It was sent around to several specialists in Ireland and one specialist in Holland and finally they got back to me and said they all agreed they got it all the first time around, no further surgery needed. Massive sigh of relief ! I can’t even begin to explain the emotions felt at hearing you have Cancer and waiting to find out if it has spread or not. Anxiety, fear, dread, grief, panic, to name a few ! The weight that lifted off my shoulders when I got the call from my Dr to say they got it all the first time around was palpable.

Fast-forward to the end of January..

I then got a call from the hospital only two weeks ago to tell me actually no, your Dr shouldn’t have advised you that and we need to see you again ASAP. I argued blind with the nurse on the phone God bless her.. ‘no you’ve made a mistake my Dr told me you got it all’.. ‘I got the all clear back in December’.. ‘are you sure you have the most up to date records’.. ‘can you check and see if you have the results from all 3 specialists there as they confirmed that it was all gone?’. She had to repeat to me several times that she had my most up to date record and then she advised they recently had a board meeting where they discussed my latest results and the hospital decided that further surgery would be necessary. You couldn’t make this shit up!

I was back in the hospital two days later meeting my oncologist surgeon & discussing my treatment plan. He wanted to take a wider margin from the area and send that off for further testing, no risks being taken here.

1 week later I was in the Vincent Private having my second surgery. It all went well but the surgery was a lot bigger this time and a lot more painful so I’ve been laid up in bed for the past week recovering and keeping my leg elevated.

I was advised to pop back in to the dressing clinic yesterday so they could check the wound as I was worried it wasn’t healing as well as last time. The nurse was so careful with it and told me that it does seem inflamed and it was still bleeding slightly (which it shouldn’t be). Due to the scar being right on the inside of my knee she said I need to be very careful to keep my leg straight and put no pressure on it as bending/pressure can cause it not to heal properly. So that’s me in bed for another few days now before I even think of leaving the house.

To say I’m bored shitless is an understatement. I’m usually so active with work, gym, yoga, walks & cycling. Lying in bed for 8 days straight so far is not going down well but I really do need to make sure this heals well so for a change I’m actually listening to the Drs advice.

On the plus side, I’ve been getting lots of reading done & have finally found the time to stitch missing buttons back on dresses & shirts I have had lying around for a while. Little tiny positives right?

My results should be back next week. I’m staying positive and hoping that my Oncologist was just being very thorough by performing a second surgery but until then… fingers crossed & praying.

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Escaping the matrix.

CREDENCE
You are in a prison right now, in this very moment; a prison so intelligently designed
that its core feature is to make sure the prisoners don’t know they’re imprisoned. This prison does not look to control you directly through force or strength, but rather indirectly through social and societal pressure. It’s as if we’re born into this world and given the bare minimum of how it operates then told to follow a script. This script goes as follows: go to school, then get a job, then get married, then have children, then retire. Throughout this script we follow each others action and the actions of our parents, ultimately enticing us to get into large sums of debt – buy a new car, buy a nice house, buy name brands, etc. It’s a menagerie of arbitrary miscellanies for the soul, or should I say soulless, purpose of achieving status in a rat race that goes so fast we may as well call it a drop-dead sprint. To those in this trap, these statements seem like the mad ramblings of an angst existentialist, but to someone awakened, it is a brief explanation of the multiple tools and techniques used to keep us prisoners asleep. If you find this hard to believe or understand, I can completely understand, how could anybody know they’re in a prison when there are no bars? How can it be a prison if we’re free to travel and live in any place of our choosing? If you’re reading this, then it is clear that you have started on a path of enlightenment can can see that this world is not functioning the way it should. I have broken chains so well concealed that I didn’t even know they were wrapped around my ankles and I come bearing a key (or a sledgehammer depending on how far indoctrinated into the system you are) for a gran exodus, but we’ll have to dive deep into
the spirit pool. Don’t just read this, take action as well, for without action this may as well be mental masturbation to appease your ego. This is not an attack on a particular person,
religion, or group but rather an expansion to reveal a higher truth of what you know and
believe in. Providence has guided me to bring light to a false truth that keeps “woke” people asleep without them knowing, like a dream that seems so real you mistake it for reality. Beware of serpents that slither into you’re life, for they seek to inject you with a sweet, irresistible venom. This venom keeps you sedated in a daze and, like any drug, you’ll eventually come down, and start to crave for more. These snakes take multifarious forms and can be so deceptive that they fool even themselves into thinking the venom they peddle is for the benefits of others. Once you’ve been bitten, they will haunt you to the ends of the earth to ensure that you are either high on venom or seeking venom. Followers of serpent spiritual leaders are given this venom so they don’t question what is being taught and to feel bad if they begin to doubt what they’re told. If a follower begins to doubt or question what is being taught, they are shut down, instead of encouraged and told ‘Sadly, you are not yet developed enough to really understand what is being said’ or some similar gobbledygook. This is subtle victimization, a key tool used by these snakes, to make you feel like a peon to their spiritual knowledge. It’s hard to imagine that a spiritual “leader” would do something like this as 9 times out of 10 they seem benevolent, but this technique is subtle, so subtle that it bypasses the conscious and goes straight into the subconscious. They present themselves to know/have something you want to know/have and offer you the chance to know/have the same thing. You feel a spiritual ‘high’ as if you’ve gained some kind of insight from this person/group and begin to follow their rhetoric. When this leader is indeed a serpent, you’ll know you’ve been given venom because it will taste irresistibly sweet at first, but becomes disgustingly bitter later on – for example the idea of heaven can be used as venom. The idea of heaven is sweet at first as you imagine living in paradise, joy and abundance. You can almost feel high while imagining having all of your dreams come true and truly believing it can come true, but turns bitter when the idea of hell is taught. There is a bitter contrast between eternal happiness and eternal suffering, keeping you coming back to the church because there is a chance you might just not qualify for heaven and will be doomed to suffer eternally. This is not to say that the churches and religions who preach this rhetoric are inherently evil, but rather the point being that this idea of heaven and hell can be used as a tool to control the followers. The control cycle begins,
because next they tell you that as long as you continue to follow their teaching and
commands, you will surely get into heaven. There is a third part to this venom, and that is it will never give you the same ‘high’ as it did the first time. To continue the example of heaven and hell, the requirements to get into heaven seem impossible for a mere human to follow, so we must always come back to purge ourselves so we don’t loose favor with the eternal judge. We must always come back, over and over, ending up like a rabbit with a carrot on a stick attached to its back, keeping a constant chase for some thing that seems just out of reach. We can expand this to broader concepts such as seeking happiness, peace, joy, abundance, etc. There always seems to be someone who has these things and peddles venom promising that one day you too will receive happiness, peace, joy, abundance, etc. These are all used against you to keep you in a drop dead sprint from the moment you’re born so you constantly seek, but never quite reach, a prison for your mind and soul.
AGREEMENTS
The use of venom and control is part of an agenda, this agenda’s goal is to control the
way you behave by getting followers stuck in a ‘Starseed Trap’. Allow me clarify what I mean by “starseed”: a starseed is an individual, here on the earth plane (in a three dimensional human body), whose soul originated from another planet, star system, galaxy, dimension, or a parallel universe. That is NOT to say you are not human, for you’re reading this with a pair of human eyes, scrolling with your thumbs on a phone screen or computer mouse, using your human brain to interpret these words, and what-not; but rather it IS to say that your soul is of this world but not from it. Generally Starseeds feel separate – as if they don’t l belong here, and often have a longing to return home without knowing where home is. However, deep within, they are connected with Unity Consciousness, a consciousness that reinforces you to act in ways that unite you to nature/God/Source/Jah (personally, I like to call it The Way, The Way is the natural order of life). Over time starseeds awaken to who they are; when fully activated and free from programming, starseeds are powerful light beings, spiritual warriors, and other agents of change. As you can imagine, uncontrolled powerful beings of light living in sovereign integrity can rock the foundations of a corrupt society simply with their lifestyles.
Starseed are susceptible to programmed belief systems and often fall victim to a complete belief system restructuring to ensure this potential is kept locked away. This restructuring takes your natural connection to The Way and turns it all topsy-turvy so you feel like that connection is gone and you need a middle man to connect you to The Way. Once in a control group, starseeds begin to believe that everything they are told is the only truth and all other sources of knowledge should be ignored and rejected. In the Starseed Trap we see all kinds of sickly control tools such as ‘the Dark Mother’, victimization, narcissism, artificial intelligence (A.I.), and transhumanism. These tools are cleverly disguised in reversal programs forcing members into doubt themselves so they continually give their power away to others who they believe know more than they do. When Starseeds enter these kinds of groups they, unconsciously, enter into an “Agreement of Entrapment”. What is an Agreement of Entrapment?
The most powerful universal law is the law of agreement. You must teach yourself to
become aware of all agreements that you make, as all agreements are valid through time and space, on all dimensions. If your body and your soul are not in agreement, then your body will be in disease (dis-at-ease). This disease manifests within your subtle energy bodies first, then manifest into the physical world. The physical world may be full of confusion, disease, and imbalance of free flowing energy if agreements are not kept. All things come first from the invisible, then transmute into this visible world of solid matter. The Way made an agreement with your soul to incarnate in this dimension, this agreement resulted in the manifestation from the invisible world into the visible world, creating your physical body. Manifestation can be achieved by any two independent naturally occurring frequencies that join together in agreement. A resonance occurs as their high and low opposites are reached simultaneously, both frequencies vibrate in unison and the waveform created by the two frequencies will exceed that which either could produce independently. Although this sounds complicated, in reality it’s absurdly simple – it is a merging duality. A new entity is created by the joint
  agreement and intent of both A and B, forming a new entity AB. The formula goes: A + B = AB – it is literally that simple. When one agrees to integrate with another, a pyramid is formed: the first point is A, the second point is B, and the third point is AB. The entity created, AB, will always have an influence from the invisible after it’s created. For example, child is created when mom (A) and dad (B) have sex with the intention of making a child (AB); this baby will be influenced by its own spirit along with the influences of mom and dad. So, you may be wondering why is it addition, instead of multiplication? Wouldn’t A*B equal AB? And wouldn’t A+B=C? Multiplication implies a fusion of two entities to create a new entity, resulting in the destruction of A and B. For example, if you blended fruit (A) and ice (B) together, the fruit and ice will be destroyed but you will get a smoothie (AB) from the fusion. When entities are added together, the original entities are not destroyed, but rather combine to form something new. For example, when you make a sandwich you are adding ingredients together without
destroying them – bread (A) plus ham (B) combine to make a sandwich (AB). Keep in mind that the ‘addition’ is not a literal combination, but rather a similar intention that brings A and B together.
Now lets take a step further – pretend you got a new job at a company. Your intention is
to make money (e.g. a paycheck) and your boss’ intention is to make money (e.g. profits).
Together you have agreed to form a company (A [you] +B [your boss] =AB [the company])
with the soul intention to make money. Although you both have the same intention of
manifesting money, the money itself comes from a single source. Without realizing it, you’ve co-created a siphon of energy and intend to turn this energy into money – recall to what I mentioned earlier about how everything first comes from the invisible then manifests into the visible. You (A) take energy (money) from people, then your (B)
boss takes the energy you gathered and gives back a smaller portion of that energy (your paycheck). The thing is, the siphon of energy (AB) is now an entity of the company as well, as you both agreed to create it through your intentions. That is to say, you and your boss manifested a siphon of ENERGY through your intentions and this manifestation comes out in unforeseen was such as coming home tired every day, needing coffee in the mornings just to get by, getting into fights with co-workers, etc. Recall that it’s not physical money being siphoned, but rather energy (an invisible force) that eventually manifests as money. As you can imagine, the combinations for co-creation are infinite and must be precise so you don’t agree to entrap yourself. This is how starseed traps are manifested, how the matrix is manifested, and why it can be so easy for serpents to hide these traps in plain sight. Starseeds whom do not realize that their energy is being siphoned off become less and less able to see or release themselves from Starseed Traps or connect directly to The Way. Have you ever tried using a flashlight when the batteries were low? You are light, here to illuminate the dark, but when your batteries are low, you too will shine dimly. Starseeds are often trapped through their sense of wanting to heal other people, timelines, and other lifetimes. They often find themselves spending far too much time outside their body, processing parts of consciousness that are not even all theirs to deal with! The need to feel important and to work towards healing the planet and healing the whole, which is admirable, often ends up becoming confusing clutter. Any work done is contained in a kind of stasis field where no growth is possible, and the “work” is presented again and again, over and over, ad infinitum. This repetitive works makes you feel as if your accomplishing something, when in actuality you have yourself stuck in a hamster wheel. A Starseed will believe they are working on their own ascension when they are not and at the same time having their energy siphoned
off. They are in a trap without knowing it, designed to keep them slogging away and feeling great misery as they do so. How many people do you know complain about feeling tired all the time? Have you ever felt a kind of tiredness that sleep can not fix? Like a wet blanket hanging around your shoulders. Ask around, and you’ll be surprised how many people have this feeling without having the ability to put it into words.
SERPENTS 
Female serpents in leadership roles within these groups are operating the ‘Dark Mother’
reversals and harvest the energy of the group through emotional manipulation. Now do not confuse this as an attack on female leadership, for there is a significant difference between a spirited female leader and a Dark Mother. Dark Mothers complain that their role is a self-sacrificing one, a martyrdom, and that they are constantly attacked for the work they do in order to elicit an outpouring of love and support from their group. The Dark Mother’s story is one of victimization and betrayal, pleading “why can’t we all be nice and support one another?”. This is set up to directly activate the victim program in her followers and opens the door for siphoning to occur; the emotional out-pour is gobbled up in a grotesque gluttony. Dark Mothers love, feed on, and perpetuate as much drama as possible so the emotional charge from their followers is maximized. The Dark Mother (A) works with her group (B)
to create a siphon of emotional energy (AB) as the intention is to provide “support” for
one-another.
SIGNS OF A SERPENTS VENOM:
-Feel we acted in a certain way that is not our normal way of behaving, usually in an outburst of emotion.
-Doing or saying things and wondering why, as if we are on auto-pilot.
-Speaking or focusing on something painful but can’t tell where it’s coming from, as if it came from another dimension, lifetime, or timeline.
-Feeling superior to others through our beliefs.
-We can’t free ourselves from a situation/group without guilt.
-Feeling like a victim or that we have been sacrificed, crucified, or are martyrs.
-Heavily defending our life story or our suffering at the hands of ET interference.
EXODUS
The first step to removing ourselves from these traps is by coming back into ourselves
and becoming grounded. The sun will still rise and the earth won’t stop spinning if you stop for a moment and take a breather. The second step is to find your foundation; who you are, why you are here, and what your purpose is – NONE OF THESE CAN BE ANSWERED BY OUTSIDE SOURCES. We have to come into our own power through understanding ourselves, when we understand we become aware of where our energy goes, and through this understanding we begin to control our energy instead of giving it away. When we begin to know ourselves and what is truly in our heart we move on to the third step, to live in integrity. Through living in integrity we find our connection with our inner God Self and The Way. The venom will wear away when we no longer give the serpents any power, energy, or attention. Live in integrity, know that what happens to you happens through providence to further your spiritual growth; never live in fear for auspicious signs are in place. Let’s get out of Babylon, my family, for the way out appears, when you begin to listen to your inner voice and connect with The Way. By working together we can co-create a grand exodus from this matrix and traps we’ve been bamboozled into. I’ve been stuck in this trap multiple times before, it becomes elementary and unmistakable over time. My warrior method involves mastery of the
self before all things, for Starseeds are sovereign beings with immense potential. Once you have mastered and understood yourself, the world stops being a scary matrix of traps and inhumanities, and transmutes into a canvas for you to create anything you can possibly imagine.
“Although this life is nice, we should live in in preparation
for the next one, so I’m writing these revelations
so that when I become an ancestor my reincarnation
can find peace in this world of devastation” – D’Rok
Thankyou so much @ethereal.creations for sharing your knowledge with us, i am truly grateful.
Highest blessings,
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Rest, recovery & re-feeds.

The past few weeks I have been writing about how so far on my cut I have been feeling great, full of energy, the weight is dropping fast and no cravings at all.

Going with a low carb diet and being in a caloric defect whilst still training to a high intensity & also walking everywhere as much as possible it was bound to hit me eventually. This past week my energy levels just seemed to drop massively and it really hit me hard. I looked like shit and felt like shit and started to get really bad knots and cramps in my muscles. I actually bumped into one of my friends in the gym last Sunday and he asked me if i was sick and told me i looked like shit (thanks pal).

I decided to listen to my body and since I wasn’t prepping for a competition and since so far I have been losing weight faster than anticipated that I would take it easy a bit this week and get my body back to normality and feeling good again and then back on the grind.

 I didn’t go all mad of course as everyone knows that wouldn’t be like me as i really do enjoy my training and healthy lifestyle. So what I did was for 3 of my workout days I decided to put my calories up an extra 200 cals worth of carbs. So in total for the full week I was having an extra 600 calories worth of carbs as to what I have previously been having during my cut. I also had a ‘cheat meal’ in eddie rockets, even with that i didn’t go nuts though i had a lovely chicken fajita wrap and some sweet potato fries which was more than enough and still not exactly unhealthy.

I wasn’t expecting to have lost any weight when i checked the scales after a few days but i was surprised to see i had still managed to lose half a pound even after putting my calories up. Those extra calories and some catch ups with friends and chats was really all i needed to feel back to myself and get my energy levels back up and smiling again. I definitely made the right choice by taking that week a little bit easy to recover and get back my energy before continuing my cut. I don’t see the point in letting myself get overworked and underfed when the whole reason i am doing this is to enjoy it and to look AND FEEL the best that i can. I learnt my lesson from last year that it doesn’t matter how good shape i am in if i am not feeling right on the inside and mentally.  

Like i said after that little recovery period i got straight back into it as usual this week and am feeling a million times better. Training is going really well and i finally managed to improve & increase my rows which i was only complaining last week that i had been stuck on them for a while. I know whilst being in a caloric deficit progress is a lot slower but man these rows were really p***ing me off. So i was absolutely delighted when i went into the gym with a clear head and renewed energy yesterday and smashed through that plateau.

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Food for Thought. Literally.

This past 2 months i’ve been cutting on a very low carb diet. My calories haven’t been to low as i didn’t have an awful lot to lose, i was aiming for 1lb a week.

In order to burn 1lb a week you need to burn 3500 more calories than you consume. With intense workouts 6 days a week & no cheat meals the body fat was disappearing no problem. I had my measurements taken and i had been losing weight on target and at the same time i had gained some muscle weight (miraculous, i know). So far so good for me!

But of course losing body fat whilst gaining muscle and training insane was never going to last long. The past two weeks i just seemed to hit a massive plateau with my diet and training. I felt so low on energy, so drained. My workouts were suffering so much i felt like they were pointless, i dragging myself to the gym and before even starting the workout i felt tired so my workouts were no where near the level i know i am capable of.

Another thing is i was getting such bad food cravings. Even before starting this diet i am a very healthy eater, i always eat clean, plant based foods. I don’t eat anything processed / refined and i keep everything as healthy and locally sourced as possible. The only unhealthy thing i ever usually want is a chocolate frappe from starbucks, apart from that no unhealthy food interested me. Until now! From eating such a low carb diet for so long my body was craving carbs so bad, and not the good carbs. I wanted chocolate, pizza, chips, anything unhealthy i wanted it. All i could think or talk about all day was food! Not good at all, i was feeling so miserable. Because of all of this i also had zero motivation to write for my blog.

On the Friday evening i felt so drained coming out from work i thought there is no way i’m going to be able to train quads like this. I had a snickers chocolate protein bar (which definitely did not fit my macros or my calories) in hopes it would give me a bit of quick energy for the gym and satisfy my cravings. Well of course it did neither of these things, it made me feel even worse than i did before and now i was pissed that i had broke my diet for a chocolate bar!

Then somebody advised me to have a ‘re feed’. To purposely heighten my carb intake for one day to replenish glycogen levels and get my energy back. Now i know me taking somebody else’s advice might come as a shock, i’m very stubborn. However this person has previously given me very good advice and.. well… i was starving and miserable and i wanted carbs.

Low and behold after having 200g rice with my protein meatballs for lunch i was like a new woman. Absolutely flew around the gym had my best workout in a few weeks. My mood improved so much and i felt like i finally had my energy back. It’s crazy to think how much carbs can effect you mentally and physically.

To me it seemed to be counter productive to up my carb intake for a day. It seems like such a small think but after dieting whilst training so intense for so long even the thought of setting myself back a tiny bit with one day of carbs seemed like something i was just not willing to do. Little did i know what a good thing this would be. Since having a re feed on Saturday i feel like my mood and training and everything are back to what they were. Positive and productive again! So one day of carbs was totally worth it to be able to get my head re focused and feel energetic again so that i can get some serious work outs in this week.

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Welcoming Autumn.

I love autumn, it has always been my favourite time of year. Today in the northern hemisphere we have the autumnal equinox. Today day and night are the same length of time and the sun and moon are in perfect balance.

Major moments like the equinox and change of seasons will always be reflected in ourselves. We are one big living organism. By taking a look at the outer world and the shifts that are happening around us we can also learn a lot about our own journey at this time.

So what does the autumnal equinox and the coming months mean, for us?

”the trees are getting ready to shed their leaves and let go of all the old”

Well, it couldn’t be clearer than that could it? Now is the time to let go of the old, release anything that no longer serves you, release any emotional baggage, release any negative vibrations, let go of any negative thought patterns, ANYTHING that no longer serves you.

Write it down on a piece of paper. ASK the angels to help you release it. Then burn it outside under tonight’s equinox moon and feel that weight being lifted off from you as you let go and let God.

But remember this is a culmination of energies and patterns that have been playing out and building up over a very long time. They won’t be gone in one night. What you are doing is setting the intention that you want to let go, you want to be free, you want to release these things. Now in the coming days listen. Let your spirit guides do what they do best and GUIDE you on your path to inner peace and transformation.

Your angels will always guide you on the right path. They always know which way is best. They ALWAYS have your best interests and they want this for you more than you can ever imagine. All you have to do is ask, then listen. Listen to what they are telling you to do next.

Maybe it will be a feeling you get. Maybe an unexplained ‘meaningful coincidence’. Maybe they will send you an angel feather. Maybe you will have a dream. Or maybe something will just come to you and you will just KNOW what is next. Whatever way your angels communicate with you (it is different for everyone) just trust them, and have the courage to take the steps.

Transformation is a beautiful thing. Just like the trees shedding the leaves and the beauty of autumn- there is nothing more beautiful than you shedding anything that does not bring you peace in order to transform in to who you really are. A being of light.

Many blessings.

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To be human.

Coincidences do not exist.

Nothing happens by chance.

Life is a string of seemingly complex synchronicities leading us from one experience to another.

These ‘meaningful coincidences’ are a wink from the universe that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

That all is well.

& although now you cannot see how the different phases & events in your life are connected..

One day you will look back with the deepest smile in your heart when everything finally comes together and you realise why it all happened, what it all meant, and what you were being prepared for.

& until that day, stop trying to figure it out, just laugh at the madness, the good, the bad, all of it..

because this is why we are here, to experience what it is to be beautifully human.

The good and the bad.

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Enter the void.

Where once was a void,
Now there is a universe.
Universe around me,
Universe within me .
I entered the void,
Explored my inner daemons.

The last thing i expected,
Was that when facing my own darkness,
I was also faced with my own true light.
How bright, oh how bright.

Enlightenment, you tricked me.
& how grateful i am.

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Poem by me – Enter the void.

New Moon Manifestation.

Everyone knows i am fascinated by astrology. I don’t read my horoscope i’m not really into that but i am always very aware of the moon phases and of any significant planetary alignments/movements.

I always tend to get very low on energy around the time of the full moon, but when it comes to the time of the new moon i always feel a burst of energy and very positive and productive.

It can work one way or the other, my energy tends to work like yin yang to the moon. When the moon is full and the moon energy is heightened, mine is the opposite. However some peoples energy works along with the moon so when the moon is full their energy will also be at its fullest.

My favourite thing about a new moon is NEW MOON NEW INTENTIONS. A full moon is for letting go of what no longer serves you & a new moon is for new beginnings, new intentions and manifestation.

This is the perfect time to set some new intentions. Set them for the coming month, or set them long term, either way the new moon is the best time to harness this type of energy and manifest your wishes!

Write down on a slip of paper your intentions for the coming month. Make them specific and make them confident. Use terms like I WILL, or I WANT.

After writing them down try holding the slip of paper in your hands while you meditate on them, focus your energy and your intention on the slip of paper and what you have wrote whilst harnessing the power of the new moon.

After this put them away in a safe place, maybe a trinket box or if you have a sacred space. Remember, if you want to manifest something you write it down and keep it, along with the new moon. If you want to let go of something, you write it down and burn it, along with the full moon.

It’s a new moon tonight so lets all write down some good intentions, ask the universe for what we want, BELIEVE that we are already receiving it from the minute we have asked, and then be ready to receive.

Love and Light. x

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