Positive Emotions.

During my coaching training we completed modules on positive psychology. Standard psychology = broken people need fixing. Positive psychology = focusing on the positive aspects of human life and how to enhance them. The world definitely has a need for both but 2020 has highlighted to me so far that there is a special need for positive psychology in the general population at the moment. So far this year has been scary to say the least, a lot has happened, a lot IS happening and it is easy to get sucked into a downward spiral of worry and fear. 

Broaden and build theory suggests that emotions are very functional. Where negative emotions serve a purpose by limiting our thoughts and behaviours allowing us to act more decidedly in times of stress, positive emotions broaden and build our conscious awareness. When you are in a bad mood, you are very closed off & stuck in negative thought patterns. When you are in a good mood you are more curious, sociable, creative & healthier. You become better at problem solving and are able to persevere longer at tougher tasks. More importantly right now, your immune system works better!

On a personal level, we should be looking to nourish and increase positive emotions in order to get the above benefits, but also on a company level. For any business, big or small, i fully believe in the importance of looking after the mental health and overall well-being of your employees. In coaching we look at each person as a whole. We understand that in order to feel satisfied, fulfilled and happy, one must have balance in key areas of their life. If one of your team members is not performing well, instead of focusing on their current lack of achievement, have you thought about the possibility of something outside of work that might be affecting their performance? If they feel unfulfilled in life, the negative feelings and thoughts will seep through in to their work life. If they are having trouble at home, or if they are having health issues, the same thing will happen. When our lives feel balanced and fulfilled, we can increase positive emotions and in turn improve our lives even more creating an upward spiral.

A meta analysis study by Lyubomirsky, King & Diener in 2005 on positive emotions shows that positive emotions have the following results within a company – 

  • Lower turnover at work.
  • Better reports of customer service.
  • Better supervision evaluations.
  • Lower emotional exhaustion.
  • Higher job satisfaction.
  • Better organisational citizenship behaviour.
  • Fewer work absences.
  • More social club involvement.
  • More volunteerism.
  • Perceived by others as being friendlier more assertive and more confident,
  • Higher annual salaries,
  • Higher longevity.
  • Lower incidence of drug or alcohol abuse.
  • Faster recovery from illness or injury.
  • More likely to resolve conflict through collaboration.
  • Increased motivation.
  • Better decision making efficiency.

I have just provided you 17 good reasons to work on interventions to help increase positive emotions in yourself and in your employees.

Business hats to one side though, couldn’t we all use a little more of this? I know my anxiety has started to creep up on me the past few weeks and with the current COVID-19 pandemic i know i can’t be the only one. From the fires across Australia devastating the native wildlife, to multiple deaths & tragedies, now countries going in to lock down due to the coronavirus, what a year so far. I think of myself as a very positive and open minded person and i tend not to get worried or sucked in to things that we have no control over, but even so i can’t help but feel overwhelmed at how the year has started. 

So this post is just as much for me as it is for you. Whether you apply this just to yourself, or if you are in a position where you can apply this to your company and employees, let’s look at some interventions to increase positivity and get ourselves into that upwards spiral.

We’ve all heard of ‘name 3 things your grateful for’, right? I want to take it a step further. 

Although studies show that naming 3 things your grateful for each day does in fact increase positivity, they also show that people tend not to stick to the practice after the study has ended. It just doesn’t feel worthwhile enough for people to continue long term. In coaching, we focus on creating long lasting habits so i’m going to suggest gratitude to you, but in a slightly different format. 

At the end of each day, instead of naming 3 things your grateful for, i want you to think about it in a bit more detail. Keep a journal of this and ask yourself questions that focus on the positives such as – 

  • Who supported me today?
  • What were today’s successes?
  • What did i do well today?
  • What did others do well today?
  • What was the highlight of my day?

Keep this up for at least 1 month, it should only take a few minutes each night, you will be surprised at how much you notice. Make sure to leave your journal somewhere you will see it each night so that you don’t forget. It might also be helpful to think of a trigger such as brushing your teeth before bed or getting changed in to your PJ’s, so you know when i get changed in to my PJ’s each night i will take a few minutes to write my journal. This is a great way to integrate it into your routine and form a new habit. 

If you are in a business environment, you could also do this as a team at the end of each work day. Ask your team to reflect on these questions and write them down, either individually or as a group. 

This is such a small step and will only take a few minutes each day, you have read the amazing effects of increasing positive emotions, we could all use a little boost right now i’m sure, so let’s all do this together. Let’s start today!

 

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References – 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/positive-psychology

Practicing Positive Psychology Coaching – Robert Biswas-Diener.

 

 

Second time lucky.

***08/02/19***

I’m writing this laid up in bed recovering after having my second surgery on my knee last week.

Let’s rewind..

Last year I had a surgery on my right knee to remove a melanoma. It was sent around to several specialists in Ireland and one specialist in Holland and finally they got back to me and said they all agreed they got it all the first time around, no further surgery needed. Massive sigh of relief ! I can’t even begin to explain the emotions felt at hearing you have Cancer and waiting to find out if it has spread or not. Anxiety, fear, dread, grief, panic, to name a few ! The weight that lifted off my shoulders when I got the call from my Dr to say they got it all the first time around was palpable.

Fast-forward to the end of January..

I then got a call from the hospital only two weeks ago to tell me actually no, your Dr shouldn’t have advised you that and we need to see you again ASAP. I argued blind with the nurse on the phone God bless her.. ‘no you’ve made a mistake my Dr told me you got it all’.. ‘I got the all clear back in December’.. ‘are you sure you have the most up to date records’.. ‘can you check and see if you have the results from all 3 specialists there as they confirmed that it was all gone?’. She had to repeat to me several times that she had my most up to date record and then she advised they recently had a board meeting where they discussed my latest results and the hospital decided that further surgery would be necessary. You couldn’t make this shit up!

I was back in the hospital two days later meeting my oncologist surgeon & discussing my treatment plan. He wanted to take a wider margin from the area and send that off for further testing, no risks being taken here.

1 week later I was in the Vincent Private having my second surgery. It all went well but the surgery was a lot bigger this time and a lot more painful so I’ve been laid up in bed for the past week recovering and keeping my leg elevated.

I was advised to pop back in to the dressing clinic yesterday so they could check the wound as I was worried it wasn’t healing as well as last time. The nurse was so careful with it and told me that it does seem inflamed and it was still bleeding slightly (which it shouldn’t be). Due to the scar being right on the inside of my knee she said I need to be very careful to keep my leg straight and put no pressure on it as bending/pressure can cause it not to heal properly. So that’s me in bed for another few days now before I even think of leaving the house.

To say I’m bored shitless is an understatement. I’m usually so active with work, gym, yoga, walks & cycling. Lying in bed for 8 days straight so far is not going down well but I really do need to make sure this heals well so for a change I’m actually listening to the Drs advice.

On the plus side, I’ve been getting lots of reading done & have finally found the time to stitch missing buttons back on dresses & shirts I have had lying around for a while. Little tiny positives right?

My results should be back next week. I’m staying positive and hoping that my Oncologist was just being very thorough by performing a second surgery but until then… fingers crossed & praying.

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Life after diagnosis.

In 2018 I was diagnosed with autoimmunity (PsA), neuropathy & skin cancer.

I went through months of harsh medications that destroyed my immune system & left me weak & fatigued. I lay awake through endless nights of chronic physical & emotional pain. I watched my strength disappear, I watched my health deteriorate. I went from squatting 100kgs to being unable to hold a cup in one hand, unable to hold a pen, crying because I couldn’t hold my key properly to open the door. I’d get off the train from work and run home so I could climb in to bed and cry, my head and neck (aside from everything else) were in so much pain I couldn’t do anything else. I went on holiday weekends and spent the full time locked in the bathroom of the hotel coughing & crying.

I went from being the healthiest person I knew, to being the unhealthiest. How dare my body betray me like this? After all of the clean eating, workouts, yoga, years of no alcohol. Why me?

I stopped writing my blog… who wants to read a ‘health & fitness blog’ from a girl who can’t walk to the end of the street without feeling like she was going to collapse?

But guess what?

In 2018 I empowered myself by learning about my disease. I read books, I read peer reviewed scientific studies, I listened to podcasts, I changed my mindset. I came off my medications & started taking only herbal & natural supplements. I got my arthritis under control, I made progress with my neuropathy, and most importantly.. I beat cancer !

Whilst dealing with all this I was promoted to customer support team leader, and passed my probation with flying colours. I got back in to a regular gym routine & started practicing yoga again. I started to build my strength back up. I studied to become a personal trainer, passed my exams & got my qualifications ! I moved house.. and then I moved house again.. into a beautiful little apartment with my caring & supportive boyfriend. I didn’t just survive, I thrived.

The reason I’m sharing is not to get sympathy.. I don’t need it. The reason I’m sharing is to give others hope that there is life after diagnosis & to teach others about the battles of chronic disease. To show others that your mindset is absolutely everything.

I accomplished so much last year while simultaneously wondering if I was going to die. I believed in mind over matter anyway, but last year reinforced my beliefs beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Last year completely broke me… physically.. but nothing can break me mentally. Not anymore, that ship has sailed.

I am living proof that when life fucks you over, you CAN come back stronger.

I prayed to God every day to make me strong. Oh boy did he deliver. A few years ago he gave me panic attacks, anxiety disorder & disassociation. I overcame them all & became very mentally strong through that process. Then last year he gave me arthritis, autoimmunity, neuropathy & cancer.. I became even stronger.

This will be my first post of my ‘new but old’ blog. I want to share my journey & show that with the right mindset, YOU can do anything. I’ll share details of my health struggles, how they effect me daily, things I have tried & tested that have helped with the pain. Things that lesson my symptoms, things that make them worse. Yoga practices, workouts, recipes. Some of the old stuff, and some of the new stuff, some of the good stuff, and some of the bad stuff. Hopefully this will also be a place that will ease the suffering of others with autoimmunity by reminding them that they are not alone & allow others to come along on our journey learning more about it themselves.

2018 was a sucky year but sure as hell did I kick it’s ass. Here’s to 2019 !

 

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Carb Cravings & Binge Eating – How to stop them.

People often ask me why i am so strict with my eating. The amount of times a week i hear ‘live a little’ or ‘treat yourself’ when i say no to a chocolate bar, or when we have cakes in work and i say no. I know where people are coming from and that they have good intentions but there is a method to my madness, i promise.

I often tell people that from my own personal experiences i have found when it comes to diet it really is all or nothing for me. A few years ago i really struggled with my eating and went through an awful ‘binge and restrict’ cycle for many months before i finally got to the root of it and got back in control. I think it’s pretty self explanatory but for those who don’t know it’s where you binge eat uncontrollably and then feel so guilty afterwards that you seriously restrict your diet to compensate in the following days or exercise excessively to make up for it. Obviously from restricting calories so low and upping the exercise your body is not getting the energy and nutrients it needs and you seriously crave carbs… which is when you find the fastest digesting sugary carbs possible and binge again – repeat repeat repeat! It’s a viscous cycle.

Anyway like i said thankfully i got to the bottom of my food related anxieties. I started to learn as much as i could about nutrition so that i could eat healthily and make sure my body was getting all the nutrients it needed and work my diet efficiently around my lifestyle and training.

Now a lot of this is of course a mental battle. However the main thing that i found helped me to get out of this cycle and stop those insane carb cravings was by eliminating simple/refined sugars from my diet and only consuming natural sugars with a low GI index.

I’m going to keep this as simple as possible. 

There are three main types of carbohydrates –  sugars, starches and fibres. Some carbs are ‘simple’ and some carbs are ‘complex’.

Simple carbs are easily and quickly digested by the body. Because of the structure of simple carbs and because of the way they are digested they cause the blood sugar levels to spike. Your pancreas then releases a hormone called insulin which is what tells your cells to absorb the sugar from your blood. This then causes a dramatic drop in blood sugar levels. Research has shown that when our blood sugar levels drop dramatically we lose our ability to control our desire to eat. Our body will crave the fastest source of carbs we can get and unfortunately the fastest digesting carbs are usually the unhealthy ones such as cakes and sweets.

Complex carbs as you might be able to get from the name have a more complex structure. This means that it takes the body a lot longer to break them down and digest them. Complex carbs usually have a lower GI which means that a lower amount of sugar will get released at a steady pace. This provides you with a longer, steadier and much more effective flow of energy (as opposed to the sugar rush and sugar drop of simple carbs).

Now do you see why i say no to the cakes and sweets? I’m not being boring i’m being smart. I know that if i have that cake my blood sugar will spike and drop. Then i will be craving more unhealthy carbs and go for more simple sugars… binge and restrict. So i choose to say no and keep my blood sugar levels steady. It’s actually a lot easier than you would think. The first week or two is usually the hardest as you are still craving the simple sugars because you have been eating them recently. But it is very surprising how little you will actually crave unhealthy foods/sugars once you have managed to get your blood sugar levels under control. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by giving it a try for a few weeks.

So how do i do it?

Choose foods low in sugars.

Throw out the refined sugars. Say no to breads, fizzy drinks, biscuits, energy drinks, cakes, sweets, pasta.

Say yes to vegetables, fruit, oats, sweet potato, beans, lentils, muesli.

Make smart choices. For example most rices have a very high GI so i would stay clear of them. However white basmati rice has a GI of 52 which makes it a really good option IN SMALL PORTIONS. Berries have a lot less sugar than bananas. Now i’m not saying don’t eat bananas, as i personally eat one every day, but what i’m saying is if you have already most of your sugars for today then opt for the berries over the banana later on.

Always exercise portion control. Try eating smaller amounts more regularly during the day for a steady release of energy. This will also stop you from getting really hungry between meals and then getting cravings.

Remember that just because something is a ‘natural’ sugar doesn’t mean you can eat as much as you want. Fruit is very nutritious but at the end of the day it is still sugar. So again.. portion control. I stick to two portions of fruit a day usually.

You can check out the GI of your food online, there are so many websites but i will include a link for one at the bottom of this article.

Try and keep your overall sugar consumption as low as possible. I personally eat between 20-30g of sugar a day and no higher. THIS INCLUDES NATURAL SUGARS. If you eat 2000 calories a day it is recommended you eat less than 50g of sugar a day.

A good way to keep track of how much sugar your eating as well as overall calories and nutrients is to download an app to input your meals. The one i use is myfitnesspal. Of course this is not necessary all of the time but it is really handy to use at first until you get a general idea of what your foods contain. This will also give you a shocker if your not used to counting calories, it can be a real eye opener when you find out how many calories are in some of your favourite go to foods.

Eat enough fibre. Fibre slows the absorption of sugar and therefore helps regulate blood sugar levels. This is why even though some fruits have a high GI they are still a good option because fruits are very nutrient dense and also full of fibre.

And last but not least. Believe that you can do it! If you fall off the wagon and eat some sugary foods or if you do find yourself in the middle of a binge don’t beat your self up about it. As soon as you realise you have slipped up again just stop what you are doing and take a few conscious breaths. Make note of where you went wrong and start again.. and again.. and again.. until you get it right. Nobody said it was easy, but it is worth it.

If it makes you feel any better i fell off that wagon more times than you could possibly imagine before i finally got it right, i still do from time to time. The power is in the return. Keep trying as many times as it takes and remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

Love and light.

 

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Escaping the matrix.

CREDENCE
You are in a prison right now, in this very moment; a prison so intelligently designed
that its core feature is to make sure the prisoners don’t know they’re imprisoned. This prison does not look to control you directly through force or strength, but rather indirectly through social and societal pressure. It’s as if we’re born into this world and given the bare minimum of how it operates then told to follow a script. This script goes as follows: go to school, then get a job, then get married, then have children, then retire. Throughout this script we follow each others action and the actions of our parents, ultimately enticing us to get into large sums of debt – buy a new car, buy a nice house, buy name brands, etc. It’s a menagerie of arbitrary miscellanies for the soul, or should I say soulless, purpose of achieving status in a rat race that goes so fast we may as well call it a drop-dead sprint. To those in this trap, these statements seem like the mad ramblings of an angst existentialist, but to someone awakened, it is a brief explanation of the multiple tools and techniques used to keep us prisoners asleep. If you find this hard to believe or understand, I can completely understand, how could anybody know they’re in a prison when there are no bars? How can it be a prison if we’re free to travel and live in any place of our choosing? If you’re reading this, then it is clear that you have started on a path of enlightenment can can see that this world is not functioning the way it should. I have broken chains so well concealed that I didn’t even know they were wrapped around my ankles and I come bearing a key (or a sledgehammer depending on how far indoctrinated into the system you are) for a gran exodus, but we’ll have to dive deep into
the spirit pool. Don’t just read this, take action as well, for without action this may as well be mental masturbation to appease your ego. This is not an attack on a particular person,
religion, or group but rather an expansion to reveal a higher truth of what you know and
believe in. Providence has guided me to bring light to a false truth that keeps “woke” people asleep without them knowing, like a dream that seems so real you mistake it for reality. Beware of serpents that slither into you’re life, for they seek to inject you with a sweet, irresistible venom. This venom keeps you sedated in a daze and, like any drug, you’ll eventually come down, and start to crave for more. These snakes take multifarious forms and can be so deceptive that they fool even themselves into thinking the venom they peddle is for the benefits of others. Once you’ve been bitten, they will haunt you to the ends of the earth to ensure that you are either high on venom or seeking venom. Followers of serpent spiritual leaders are given this venom so they don’t question what is being taught and to feel bad if they begin to doubt what they’re told. If a follower begins to doubt or question what is being taught, they are shut down, instead of encouraged and told ‘Sadly, you are not yet developed enough to really understand what is being said’ or some similar gobbledygook. This is subtle victimization, a key tool used by these snakes, to make you feel like a peon to their spiritual knowledge. It’s hard to imagine that a spiritual “leader” would do something like this as 9 times out of 10 they seem benevolent, but this technique is subtle, so subtle that it bypasses the conscious and goes straight into the subconscious. They present themselves to know/have something you want to know/have and offer you the chance to know/have the same thing. You feel a spiritual ‘high’ as if you’ve gained some kind of insight from this person/group and begin to follow their rhetoric. When this leader is indeed a serpent, you’ll know you’ve been given venom because it will taste irresistibly sweet at first, but becomes disgustingly bitter later on – for example the idea of heaven can be used as venom. The idea of heaven is sweet at first as you imagine living in paradise, joy and abundance. You can almost feel high while imagining having all of your dreams come true and truly believing it can come true, but turns bitter when the idea of hell is taught. There is a bitter contrast between eternal happiness and eternal suffering, keeping you coming back to the church because there is a chance you might just not qualify for heaven and will be doomed to suffer eternally. This is not to say that the churches and religions who preach this rhetoric are inherently evil, but rather the point being that this idea of heaven and hell can be used as a tool to control the followers. The control cycle begins,
because next they tell you that as long as you continue to follow their teaching and
commands, you will surely get into heaven. There is a third part to this venom, and that is it will never give you the same ‘high’ as it did the first time. To continue the example of heaven and hell, the requirements to get into heaven seem impossible for a mere human to follow, so we must always come back to purge ourselves so we don’t loose favor with the eternal judge. We must always come back, over and over, ending up like a rabbit with a carrot on a stick attached to its back, keeping a constant chase for some thing that seems just out of reach. We can expand this to broader concepts such as seeking happiness, peace, joy, abundance, etc. There always seems to be someone who has these things and peddles venom promising that one day you too will receive happiness, peace, joy, abundance, etc. These are all used against you to keep you in a drop dead sprint from the moment you’re born so you constantly seek, but never quite reach, a prison for your mind and soul.
AGREEMENTS
The use of venom and control is part of an agenda, this agenda’s goal is to control the
way you behave by getting followers stuck in a ‘Starseed Trap’. Allow me clarify what I mean by “starseed”: a starseed is an individual, here on the earth plane (in a three dimensional human body), whose soul originated from another planet, star system, galaxy, dimension, or a parallel universe. That is NOT to say you are not human, for you’re reading this with a pair of human eyes, scrolling with your thumbs on a phone screen or computer mouse, using your human brain to interpret these words, and what-not; but rather it IS to say that your soul is of this world but not from it. Generally Starseeds feel separate – as if they don’t l belong here, and often have a longing to return home without knowing where home is. However, deep within, they are connected with Unity Consciousness, a consciousness that reinforces you to act in ways that unite you to nature/God/Source/Jah (personally, I like to call it The Way, The Way is the natural order of life). Over time starseeds awaken to who they are; when fully activated and free from programming, starseeds are powerful light beings, spiritual warriors, and other agents of change. As you can imagine, uncontrolled powerful beings of light living in sovereign integrity can rock the foundations of a corrupt society simply with their lifestyles.
Starseed are susceptible to programmed belief systems and often fall victim to a complete belief system restructuring to ensure this potential is kept locked away. This restructuring takes your natural connection to The Way and turns it all topsy-turvy so you feel like that connection is gone and you need a middle man to connect you to The Way. Once in a control group, starseeds begin to believe that everything they are told is the only truth and all other sources of knowledge should be ignored and rejected. In the Starseed Trap we see all kinds of sickly control tools such as ‘the Dark Mother’, victimization, narcissism, artificial intelligence (A.I.), and transhumanism. These tools are cleverly disguised in reversal programs forcing members into doubt themselves so they continually give their power away to others who they believe know more than they do. When Starseeds enter these kinds of groups they, unconsciously, enter into an “Agreement of Entrapment”. What is an Agreement of Entrapment?
The most powerful universal law is the law of agreement. You must teach yourself to
become aware of all agreements that you make, as all agreements are valid through time and space, on all dimensions. If your body and your soul are not in agreement, then your body will be in disease (dis-at-ease). This disease manifests within your subtle energy bodies first, then manifest into the physical world. The physical world may be full of confusion, disease, and imbalance of free flowing energy if agreements are not kept. All things come first from the invisible, then transmute into this visible world of solid matter. The Way made an agreement with your soul to incarnate in this dimension, this agreement resulted in the manifestation from the invisible world into the visible world, creating your physical body. Manifestation can be achieved by any two independent naturally occurring frequencies that join together in agreement. A resonance occurs as their high and low opposites are reached simultaneously, both frequencies vibrate in unison and the waveform created by the two frequencies will exceed that which either could produce independently. Although this sounds complicated, in reality it’s absurdly simple – it is a merging duality. A new entity is created by the joint
  agreement and intent of both A and B, forming a new entity AB. The formula goes: A + B = AB – it is literally that simple. When one agrees to integrate with another, a pyramid is formed: the first point is A, the second point is B, and the third point is AB. The entity created, AB, will always have an influence from the invisible after it’s created. For example, child is created when mom (A) and dad (B) have sex with the intention of making a child (AB); this baby will be influenced by its own spirit along with the influences of mom and dad. So, you may be wondering why is it addition, instead of multiplication? Wouldn’t A*B equal AB? And wouldn’t A+B=C? Multiplication implies a fusion of two entities to create a new entity, resulting in the destruction of A and B. For example, if you blended fruit (A) and ice (B) together, the fruit and ice will be destroyed but you will get a smoothie (AB) from the fusion. When entities are added together, the original entities are not destroyed, but rather combine to form something new. For example, when you make a sandwich you are adding ingredients together without
destroying them – bread (A) plus ham (B) combine to make a sandwich (AB). Keep in mind that the ‘addition’ is not a literal combination, but rather a similar intention that brings A and B together.
Now lets take a step further – pretend you got a new job at a company. Your intention is
to make money (e.g. a paycheck) and your boss’ intention is to make money (e.g. profits).
Together you have agreed to form a company (A [you] +B [your boss] =AB [the company])
with the soul intention to make money. Although you both have the same intention of
manifesting money, the money itself comes from a single source. Without realizing it, you’ve co-created a siphon of energy and intend to turn this energy into money – recall to what I mentioned earlier about how everything first comes from the invisible then manifests into the visible. You (A) take energy (money) from people, then your (B)
boss takes the energy you gathered and gives back a smaller portion of that energy (your paycheck). The thing is, the siphon of energy (AB) is now an entity of the company as well, as you both agreed to create it through your intentions. That is to say, you and your boss manifested a siphon of ENERGY through your intentions and this manifestation comes out in unforeseen was such as coming home tired every day, needing coffee in the mornings just to get by, getting into fights with co-workers, etc. Recall that it’s not physical money being siphoned, but rather energy (an invisible force) that eventually manifests as money. As you can imagine, the combinations for co-creation are infinite and must be precise so you don’t agree to entrap yourself. This is how starseed traps are manifested, how the matrix is manifested, and why it can be so easy for serpents to hide these traps in plain sight. Starseeds whom do not realize that their energy is being siphoned off become less and less able to see or release themselves from Starseed Traps or connect directly to The Way. Have you ever tried using a flashlight when the batteries were low? You are light, here to illuminate the dark, but when your batteries are low, you too will shine dimly. Starseeds are often trapped through their sense of wanting to heal other people, timelines, and other lifetimes. They often find themselves spending far too much time outside their body, processing parts of consciousness that are not even all theirs to deal with! The need to feel important and to work towards healing the planet and healing the whole, which is admirable, often ends up becoming confusing clutter. Any work done is contained in a kind of stasis field where no growth is possible, and the “work” is presented again and again, over and over, ad infinitum. This repetitive works makes you feel as if your accomplishing something, when in actuality you have yourself stuck in a hamster wheel. A Starseed will believe they are working on their own ascension when they are not and at the same time having their energy siphoned
off. They are in a trap without knowing it, designed to keep them slogging away and feeling great misery as they do so. How many people do you know complain about feeling tired all the time? Have you ever felt a kind of tiredness that sleep can not fix? Like a wet blanket hanging around your shoulders. Ask around, and you’ll be surprised how many people have this feeling without having the ability to put it into words.
SERPENTS 
Female serpents in leadership roles within these groups are operating the ‘Dark Mother’
reversals and harvest the energy of the group through emotional manipulation. Now do not confuse this as an attack on female leadership, for there is a significant difference between a spirited female leader and a Dark Mother. Dark Mothers complain that their role is a self-sacrificing one, a martyrdom, and that they are constantly attacked for the work they do in order to elicit an outpouring of love and support from their group. The Dark Mother’s story is one of victimization and betrayal, pleading “why can’t we all be nice and support one another?”. This is set up to directly activate the victim program in her followers and opens the door for siphoning to occur; the emotional out-pour is gobbled up in a grotesque gluttony. Dark Mothers love, feed on, and perpetuate as much drama as possible so the emotional charge from their followers is maximized. The Dark Mother (A) works with her group (B)
to create a siphon of emotional energy (AB) as the intention is to provide “support” for
one-another.
SIGNS OF A SERPENTS VENOM:
-Feel we acted in a certain way that is not our normal way of behaving, usually in an outburst of emotion.
-Doing or saying things and wondering why, as if we are on auto-pilot.
-Speaking or focusing on something painful but can’t tell where it’s coming from, as if it came from another dimension, lifetime, or timeline.
-Feeling superior to others through our beliefs.
-We can’t free ourselves from a situation/group without guilt.
-Feeling like a victim or that we have been sacrificed, crucified, or are martyrs.
-Heavily defending our life story or our suffering at the hands of ET interference.
EXODUS
The first step to removing ourselves from these traps is by coming back into ourselves
and becoming grounded. The sun will still rise and the earth won’t stop spinning if you stop for a moment and take a breather. The second step is to find your foundation; who you are, why you are here, and what your purpose is – NONE OF THESE CAN BE ANSWERED BY OUTSIDE SOURCES. We have to come into our own power through understanding ourselves, when we understand we become aware of where our energy goes, and through this understanding we begin to control our energy instead of giving it away. When we begin to know ourselves and what is truly in our heart we move on to the third step, to live in integrity. Through living in integrity we find our connection with our inner God Self and The Way. The venom will wear away when we no longer give the serpents any power, energy, or attention. Live in integrity, know that what happens to you happens through providence to further your spiritual growth; never live in fear for auspicious signs are in place. Let’s get out of Babylon, my family, for the way out appears, when you begin to listen to your inner voice and connect with The Way. By working together we can co-create a grand exodus from this matrix and traps we’ve been bamboozled into. I’ve been stuck in this trap multiple times before, it becomes elementary and unmistakable over time. My warrior method involves mastery of the
self before all things, for Starseeds are sovereign beings with immense potential. Once you have mastered and understood yourself, the world stops being a scary matrix of traps and inhumanities, and transmutes into a canvas for you to create anything you can possibly imagine.
“Although this life is nice, we should live in in preparation
for the next one, so I’m writing these revelations
so that when I become an ancestor my reincarnation
can find peace in this world of devastation” – D’Rok
Thankyou so much @ethereal.creations for sharing your knowledge with us, i am truly grateful.
Highest blessings,
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My First Float.

 

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If you read my previous blog post you will know that for my 25th birthday i was heading over to Kildare for the day to experience my first ever float session in a sensory deprivation tank.

I went to Sli Beatha in Naas, Co. Kildare and was not disappointed. The whole experience from start to finish was absolutely wonderful, so much so that i decided to pay for two further sessions so i can go again in the next few weeks.

First of all i would highly recommend going to Sli Beatha Float House if you are going to try floating. If you don’t live in Naas don’t be put off by having to travel as i promise it is worth it. I got the 126 bus from the Happeny Bridge in Dublin city centre which took roughly 40 minutes & it was only 10 euros for a return ticket. The bus dropped me right outside just across the road from the Float House (ask the bus driver to tell you when your at the stop before the post office in Naas and get off there).

The whole place was very beautiful inside and felt very relaxing & ‘spa’ like. Laura was very welcoming and made me feel very comfortable right away. I was sat down in a little cosy area to watch a video about how the tank works & a few need to know things. I was then given some earbuds to keep & offered a bottle of water and then Laura took me upstairs to my private float room.

I have to say the full place from top to bottom was absolutely gleaming and spotless, such a beautiful space throughout and lovely decor & a calming atmosphere. Laura took me in the float room and explained everything to me and showed me where everything was and how to use the tank and then she left me to enjoy.

I was delighted that in your private float room you have absolutely everything provided for you so you don’t have to bring anything at all. A lovely fresh towel and a turbie towel for your hair are provided, plus you have your own shower in the room for before and after the float. I quickly had my pre float shower, put my earbuds in place and climbed into the tank.

I was a little bit nervous about doing it as i have had a terrible fear of drowning for the past 10 years ever since one of my friends i went to school with sadly drowned. I used to be quite a strong swimmer up until that happened but afterwards i would have nightmares every night for years to come and wake up in floods of tears every night. After that the fear of drowning was just to overwhelming for me that it took me 8 years before i would get back in the water again. I’m glad to say that i finally came to peace with it and started learning to swim again at the age of 24. Better late than never right?

I was surprised when i climbed in at how bouyant I was. Relief rushed over me straight away as i realised theres no possible way i could drown in here, i could barely even sit on the bottom to get in place thats how floaty it was in there. I pulled the top of the tank dow completely straight away as although i had been a bit worried before about drowning or feeling claustrophobic those fears were now gone. I floated so easily and comfortably and the tank was so big that i just wasn’t worried at all now.

For the first 10 minutes of the float they play some beautiful calming music directly into the tank & the light in the tank is still on. The light is like a beautiful pastel mood light with really warm glowing colours, enough to light up the tank inside but not bright enough to kill the mood, just right. You can turn the light off yourself when you get in if you like but since it was my first time i kept it on for now. Laura had advised me that when i get in the light will automatically turn off after 5 minutes and that the the music would fade away and turn off after 10 minutes. For the first minute or two i was just finding my most comfortable position to float in which was with my arms up by the side of my head instead of by my sides. I had a little bit of anxiety worrying about being able to breathe properly in here and was worried would i freak out when the light and music turned off so i decided just to concentrate on my breath. I practice pranayama breathing techniques regularly so i just focused on a techique i know to calm the nervous system & relax .

When the light turned off i was actually surprised as straight away the sense of being inside a tank just vanished. The floating sensation coupled with absolute darkness made me feel as if i was floating through a vast open space it was a very freeing and wonderful sensation. Any anxiety that i had felt previously completely disappeared, i did not feel enclosed or as if i was in a tank at all and it was absolutely pitch black in there i could not see a single thing. There were a few times throughout the float when i actually didn’t know if my eyes were open or closed as it made no difference either way. My neck & traps felt very achy and uncomfortable at first which i knew could happen from watching the video before hand. When there is no other sensation to focus on except your own body any aches or itches or rumbles just feel magnified times 10. Even though the aches in my neck were very prominent at first i was still extremely relaxed and comfortable and after the epsom salts in the tank started to soak in (about 20 minutes in) the muscle aches and tension eased away completely.

With the light switched off i got this indescribable feeling throughout my whole body like a mixture of relief and elation. I often struggle to calm myself or relax around other people & as i get older i become more and more introverted. The theme of my week so far had been ‘God please give me 5 minutes of peace and quiet before i lose my shit or have a panic attack’. When the music went silent in that tank i just though to myself FINALLY! Absolute silence and alone time, no distractions, nobody to have to make conversation with or answer to, no anxiety, no jobs to do or places to be, no rushing, just pure joyous bliss.

The next 50 minutes were absolutely wonderful i can’t even begin to describe. I realised a long time ago that even though anxiety is internal, for me my anxiety always revolves around other people. Always trying to people please, worrying about what other people are thinking, trying to make conversation to please other people even though i just want quiet, putting other peoples needs before my own, carrying other peoples worries as my own, fear of other people wanting to hurt me. I always find any social situation extremely draining and even though i will always be smiling and i truly do want to be there, it can just get a bit overwhelming for me at times. It was like getting some time alone in this tank to relax was an answer to my prayers. I honestly must have been radiating gratitude from every single inch of my body whilst i was in there for getting the chance to have this experience.

I let the good feelings flow in and the bad ones flow out and let my thoughts come and go exactly the same way. I didn’t try to control my thoughts or stop them or direct them, i just let them come and go without really fixating on them. Just being aware of what was drifting in and out. Being present and completely letting go of everything.

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For the majority of that 50 minutes i would completely forget where i was, i almost felt like i was in a dream or floating through the universe or just completely absorbed in consciousness. Actually i think the way to describe it would be all of those things at once.. i was awake but dreaming, floating through the universe, completely immersed in consciousness with no attachment to my physical body. It was such a beautiful and humbling experience that words do not do it justice. One thing that i was very happy about as for a while now i seemed to have ‘writers block’ and couldn’t seem to come up with things i wanted to write about any more. My thoughts became so crystal clear in that tank that the ideas just came flowing to me one after another, but gently and softly. There was never a rush of thoughts or a bombardment of thoughts. Infact i don’t know how it’s possible but i’m pretty sure the thoughts were gently flowing and coming to me but at the same time my head was completely clear and silent. Well one thing i have learned this far in life is that ANYTHING is possible. The mind is a complex and fascinating thing. All of the ideas that came flowing to me about writing and about my life seemed so perfect that it was as if God had just planted them there himself. At the same time though these thoughts and amazing ideas i was having weren’t like an epiphany. No. They were from inside me, i already had these thoughts but with the business of every day life and the outside noise it’s hard to make sense of your own thoughts or let them surface.

And then i felt grateful to myself. Grateful for following my guides, for following my intuition, i felt grateful for allowing myself this experience, grateful for me to listening to my body and practicing yoga, walking, for meditating, for allowing myself to heal, for my ayahuasca journey, for my journal. All of these things that i had brought into my life that are just for me. For taking care of myself, mind body and spirit. (Feeling nostalgic referencing back to my first ever blog post here). I promised myself in this moment that floating was going to become a regular part of my life from now on. As did yoga, meditation, journalling, so will floating. I made a comitment to myself right then to float once a month and give myself this time to let go of everything and allow myself to heal. From the inside out.

After my float was over i had a lovely hot shower in the float room before heading through to the dressing room to get myself together. I had brought towels and shampoos, brushes etc with me in my bag but it turns out none of them were needed. The shower had the loveliest smelling shampoo & conditioners of all time & the shower gel left me all silky smooth and smelling gorgeous after washing away all of the float salts – note, make sure to rinse out properly inside your ears just in case any salt water got in, as if it dries on your eardrum it could cause some discomfort. In the cutest dressing room ever there were loads of toiletries and amenities to choose from. Cleansers, moisturisers, body butters, argan oils, hair serums, deodorants, hair brushes, a selection of gorgeous perfumes, hair bobbles & clips, they literally had everything.

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After i spent a slow & lazy 45 minutes drying my hair and getting myself together i took a seat on a cosy orange elephant chair and had a browse through the guest book. It was lovely to read the messages left by all of the people who had visited before me. So many people saying they had also had similar experiences to mine, joyous, calming, the feeling of connection and oneness. My personal favourites were ”it’s all connected” & ”ooh ahh sli beatha, ooh ahh sli beatha”. So anyways i left my own message in the guestbook thanking them for a wonderful experience and then i went down to the reception and paid for my next two floats to come. No hesitation there. I already can’t wait to go back and i will keep blogging about each floating experience and how it evolves for me.

Healing the mind body & soul, one float at a time.

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New Beginnings.

As most of you will know by now i recently handed my notice in at my job of 2.5 years.

I’ve had a great time there but over this past year i’ve been feeling kind of stuck. I felt a long time ago that i had gotten everything i could from this job, there was nothing more that i could do here, no new skills to learn, no room to progress and grow. It started making me feel really bored and unhappy, so i finally bit the bullet and started applying for new jobs.

Luckily something fell right into my lap and very quickly i got an amazing new job offer. I’m so excited to start this new chapter in my life and this new job is exactly what i was praying for. Last year was very tough for me, a lot of ups and downs but i somehow managed to power through and this year things are looking so much better.

Last year there were a lot of days where i struggled to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning, a lot of days where i was afraid to talk to anybody and i was afraid that things would never get better. Around me everybody would have thought i was the happiest person ever but that’s just because i was afraid to tell anyone what was going on in my head in case they told me i was crazy. The best decision i ever made was to confide in a friend and to get help. Its been a long road so far and i’m not naive enough to think that my troubles are behind me, anybody who has suffered with mental health will know its an uphill battle where you get knocked back down again and again.

So far in 2017 i feel like one good thing has been happening after another, it feels almost to good to be true. My blog has been doing amazing, my training is going really well, i’ve had a few photo shoots, and most of all i feel happy again. Unfortunately with anxiety there’s always that little voice in my head telling me this won’t last, something will go wrong. What i’ve came to realize is that that little voice is probably right, the good times don’t last forever, but neither do the bad times. Life is fleeting and no matter what happens nothing lasts forever.

So while all of these good things are happening to me i’m going to focus on vibrating higher, live right in this moment and appreciate every single good thing that is happening to me right now. The big things and the small, getting a new job and finding a lucky cent. Because they all matter and they all make me smile and it’s these things that manage to keep me going even in my darkest days.

One thing that has really helped me in not being so worried about the future is how i have such an amazing group of friends who have been so good to me through everything. On days when i have felt low and felt empty, its my friends who have helped raise me back up and fill me back up with love.

It’s weird how much things can change in one year, how your perception can change. I once remember writing that life is not meant to be lived in pain. Oh how naive i feel now for writing that, but that’s genuinely what i thought at the time. Now i realize that that’s what life is, it’s painful and it’s unfair. We just have to not let that pain consume us and drag us under. For it’s the pain that makes us who we are. The pain makes us stronger.

So here’s to new beginnings. Here’s to 2017. Here’s to being stronger than ever.

Even in my lowest lows I have unwavering faith that the universe has my back.

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My Bulk So Far.

I said when I started blogging again that I was going to blog my bulk and then when it comes to it my cut. So here is my first bulk blog post.

** FYI – I’m sure a lot of people reading my blog will know this already but just for anyone who doesn’t already know –

Bulking is being in a caloric surplus and gaining muscle (also unfortunately a bit body fat that inevitably comes with it). Usually people bulk in the winter so that when they have that little bit of extra body fat it’s not the time of year we want to be showing off our bods.

Cutting is what happens after the bulk. When all of that lovely muscle has been built up underneath but the layer of fat that comes with all of the added calories is still covering the muscles. Of course they need to be shown off so cutting is being in a caloric deficit and burning away that fat so that you can show all of those lovely muscles you worked so hard for.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way.

I had been on a half hearted bulk starting from around October but I was really struggling with eating properly and I was extremely nervous about putting on any weight. Even in my usual diet I don’t eat a lot of carbs to begin with, so when I wrote out my meal plans for my bulk and worked out my macros I planned to slowly up my calories by about 200 every week as I had heard this way works best. However even upping my calorie intake by that small amount was really difficult for me, especially since I was going from eating a lot of protein and fewer carbs to eating a lot more carbs. I felt so bloated all day and was feeling to stuffed i didn’t want to eat my next meal so wasn’t managing to finish my calories each day.

Also because when I was about 18 I put on about a stone in weight and was extremely unhappy, I was so nervous about gaining even a little bit weight this time round. I knew that in order to get the physique I wanted I would have to sacrifice my abs and leanness for a little while, but that didn’t make it any easier mentally. I had been making progress but it was very slowly and it was messing with my head having so much anxiety about planning my workouts and meals. You will know from my previous blog posts last year was a very tough year for me mentally so I really had no confidence in myself at the time.

So that’s when I messaged my lovely friend Lauren Levine to ask for her help. We worked together in Ibiza a few years back and ever since she has been such an inspiration to me watching her fitness journey. I thought to myself If I have a professional like her coaching me online and advising me then it would put my mind to rest. I would not have to worry about what if I am doing it wrong, or what if I wasn’t doing the right kind of training, or what if I wasn’t eating the right foods and I gained to much body fat instead of muscle. I knew in my head I had read every single book on bulking, ready every online article I could find, downloaded every piece of info I could. But lets face it my anxiety was really overwhelming me and I was worry worry worrying about not getting it right. So to put my mind at ease I asked Lauren to help me.

My training the past few weeks has been all about lifting heavy again and building back up my strength which I was very excited about. My sessions feel so much more effective and I have started to really enjoy it again. I think even just having somebody else plan them for me has took a massive weight off my mind so that I can solely focus on the training itself and the eating without any worries or concerns.

It took a bit of playing around with my carbs and meal times to find out what worked best but now I’m up to 2500 calories a day / 3000 calories on rest days and finding I am not bloated and actually feeling a lot more energised. I realised that a lot of carbs don’t agree with me. I now stick to just oats or sweet potato for my carbs as I realised that whole-wheat pasta and brown rice were really making my stomach feel huge and uncomfortable which was making me even more stressed. I also had to start my meals a lot earlier in the day. I used to not eat until about 11am but its pretty difficult to fit in 3000 calories between 11am and 9pm and not be absolutely stuffed. So now I also have a meal before I leave for work at about 7am and start eating at this time, this helps me to spread my meals out better during the day and not feel like I was forcing my meals in. I decided to buy a gainer shake with carbs in for after my workouts instead of just the standard whey, an easy way to get in a few of those extra calories. Lauren also advised me to track my calories and meals on my fitness pal which is actually a great and very easy way to keep a food diary instead of writing everything down like I was.

My body has changed so much in only 4 weeks, my weight is steadily going up now at a good pace (unlike before when it was very slow and kept pausing). I am loving my training and happy to be working on all of the big lifts / compound movements. I finally have my eating on track and in a routine that I find manageable and easy to prep. So now I feel like everything is in place, I have found what is working for me and am really looking forward to seeing how my body is going to look by the end of this bulk as I definitely feel and look much better than I did at the beginning of the year. It just goes to show that eating calories and being lean doesn’t always make you look your best. I personally feel that I look a lot better now than I did when I was a bit leaner, I feel like my muscles are filling out more and I have a lot more confidence!

I’ll keep you updated with anything new I try and if anyone has any tips or good advice I’m all ears. Like I said the past few years I have been focusing on maintaining my shape and staying lean, this is my first proper bulk so I’m open to suggestions.

3 weeks difference in this picture. Lots of training. Lots of food. Lots of sunbeds.

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Food for Thought. Literally.

This past 2 months i’ve been cutting on a very low carb diet. My calories haven’t been to low as i didn’t have an awful lot to lose, i was aiming for 1lb a week.

In order to burn 1lb a week you need to burn 3500 more calories than you consume. With intense workouts 6 days a week & no cheat meals the body fat was disappearing no problem. I had my measurements taken and i had been losing weight on target and at the same time i had gained some muscle weight (miraculous, i know). So far so good for me!

But of course losing body fat whilst gaining muscle and training insane was never going to last long. The past two weeks i just seemed to hit a massive plateau with my diet and training. I felt so low on energy, so drained. My workouts were suffering so much i felt like they were pointless, i dragging myself to the gym and before even starting the workout i felt tired so my workouts were no where near the level i know i am capable of.

Another thing is i was getting such bad food cravings. Even before starting this diet i am a very healthy eater, i always eat clean, plant based foods. I don’t eat anything processed / refined and i keep everything as healthy and locally sourced as possible. The only unhealthy thing i ever usually want is a chocolate frappe from starbucks, apart from that no unhealthy food interested me. Until now! From eating such a low carb diet for so long my body was craving carbs so bad, and not the good carbs. I wanted chocolate, pizza, chips, anything unhealthy i wanted it. All i could think or talk about all day was food! Not good at all, i was feeling so miserable. Because of all of this i also had zero motivation to write for my blog.

On the Friday evening i felt so drained coming out from work i thought there is no way i’m going to be able to train quads like this. I had a snickers chocolate protein bar (which definitely did not fit my macros or my calories) in hopes it would give me a bit of quick energy for the gym and satisfy my cravings. Well of course it did neither of these things, it made me feel even worse than i did before and now i was pissed that i had broke my diet for a chocolate bar!

Then somebody advised me to have a ‘re feed’. To purposely heighten my carb intake for one day to replenish glycogen levels and get my energy back. Now i know me taking somebody else’s advice might come as a shock, i’m very stubborn. However this person has previously given me very good advice and.. well… i was starving and miserable and i wanted carbs.

Low and behold after having 200g rice with my protein meatballs for lunch i was like a new woman. Absolutely flew around the gym had my best workout in a few weeks. My mood improved so much and i felt like i finally had my energy back. It’s crazy to think how much carbs can effect you mentally and physically.

To me it seemed to be counter productive to up my carb intake for a day. It seems like such a small think but after dieting whilst training so intense for so long even the thought of setting myself back a tiny bit with one day of carbs seemed like something i was just not willing to do. Little did i know what a good thing this would be. Since having a re feed on Saturday i feel like my mood and training and everything are back to what they were. Positive and productive again! So one day of carbs was totally worth it to be able to get my head re focused and feel energetic again so that i can get some serious work outs in this week.

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